Whether you’re a strict traditionalist or you consider your style ‘off piste’, writing your own vows can personalise and set the tone of your special day - which can reflect your personalities and beliefs best. But what is the best way to tackle writing something so important and everlasting? Here are the Full Focus steps to personalised vows success:
Do your homework
With so much information out there on the internet, including vow examples, templates and a plethora of YouTube wedding videos, you have a lot of material to sink your teeth into: to inspire and to boost your confidence writing these all important words. Jot down things you like and confer with your partner so you’re on the same page.
Will you write your own vows together or separately? Will you create questions for your celebrant to ask or will your vows be your very own soliloquy, to express your unwavering love for your partner? Hash out the logistics of the vows before you get down to the nitty gritty – this will make the process far easier. Some couples have found that writing vows together an easier task, so ideas can be bounced around.
Write down notes about your relationship
This is something you can indulge in together as a couple over a glass of wine or a nice meal. Note down your thoughts and feelings on
- How you first met
- First impressions of your other half
- Why you decided to get married
- Any hardships or tough times you’ve overcome
- What dreams do you wish to achieve together
- Any future plans for creating a family
- The qualities you most admire about each other
- The things you miss most when you’re not together
Responsibilities and a busy lifestyles can often take over our days, so taking time to talk about and write down these thoughts together is a lovely way to remind yourselves why you’re getting married in the first place, and makes vow writing far easier!
Vows are meant to be special promises or pledges to your loved one, so be sure to include 2 or more promises within your vows. Keep it broad and avoid anything too personal or cutesy. Our top 3 favourite promises are:
- I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you, always
- I promise to be your lover, companion and friend. Your partner in parenthood. Your ally in conflict
- With my whole heart, I take you as my wife/husband, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine
(Source: The Knot)
It’s easy to get carried away and cram in as much information and romance into your vows but in order to stay on schedule and to save your wedding guests from clock watching – keep your vows down to around 2 minutes. If there’s a particular phrase or quote you really love, incorporate it into another part of the wedding service, or write down in a card or love letter for your fiancée, for them to open on the morning of your wedding.
As the saying goes “practice makes perfect”. Say your vows out loud to each other or to a close friend or relative. Take on constructive criticism and edit as appropriate. Take time to write your vows in advance so you can tweak in the lead up to the big day.
Have we inspired you to write your own wedding vows? If you’re looking for more inspiration, watch our trailer we filmed for Billie & Joe's wedding, to take note of the heartfelt vows they share. For more information on our wedding videos give us a call on 01376 619517.